I’m ‘aaaarggh’ Pirate: The Good, The Bad, and The TV Shows I Watch

The past few weeks, I’ve been contemplating on the lack of so-called material to write about. Unlike before where I have several photos to post or I am enthusiastically reviewing FHM, I now am in a slump where I am not confident enough to blog about the things occupying my ever free life.

Then I remembered, there is something I really enjoy doing these past few months. I really enjoy this activity that I can spend hours and hours just doing this. And hey, I’m not even talking about being awesome, or being delusional. I’m referring to my love for watching TV series on DVD. Pirated, that is.

I know, as illegal as it is, there’s just too much to love about American TV series on boot-legged copies. And I also know that originals are better: with highly functional features, proper subtitles and 100% complete episodes. But dealing with life as it is, it definitely is quantity over quality.

Of course, I go for the sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory (covered all seasons, save for some episodes on the fourth as my copy got lost. like thieves crossing a pirate. Despicable), Modern Family (definitely funny to the core, especially Sofia Vergara and everybody else. Only thing funnier is me missing the 2nd season), and most recently, New Girl (I would also say 2 Broke Girls but I have no DVD for that. And I actually watched both series on TV. So…). And also, I watch shows in other genre like The Walking Dead and Falling Skies.

But other than those aforementioned famed TV shows, I also go for less generic, but definitely not of lesser quality, series. And I think that’s what I wanna talk about. TV series, what I like and don’t like about them. (I know I just sounded like a person on a children’s show, stating the obvious and shit)

1. Off the Map

No. of Episodes: 13

Off the Map is a medical drama set in the jungles of  South America. It’s actually my first try on watching a medical drama (no Grey’s Anatomy for me).  I never really considered it, since I have very low tolerance on gore, but I figured seeing internal organs, blood and different body parts in various levels of destruction isn’t that gory if it’s done with substance (sorry, Saw and Final Destination).

The Good: The South American jungle (which they shot in Hawaii), relate-able and well done characterizations, medical practice on its core (medicinal plants), Mamie Gummer, Rachel Lefevre, Español


2. The River

No. of Episodes: 8

The River is an American paranormal/action/horror/found-footage television series, according to Wikipedia. That’s too many a slash for such a short TV series. I was mislead buying this series. I thought this is going to be a scientific, biological shizz. Well, it’s from the creators of Paranormal Activity, hence the same treatment they did.  It showed promise on the first few episodes, but went from ok to bad as the episodes unfold. The scare tactics they used are just too overpowering that the plot got lost along their Amazon tour.

The Good: Puerto Rico and Hawaii (the filming locations), Paulina Gaitan, Episode 2, Amazon cultural and ethnic traditions and rituals

The Bad: taboo and cliche scare tactics (read: zombie breakout in the jungle), Amazon cultural and ethnic traditions and rituals bastardized

3. Once Upon A Time

No. of Episodes: 22 (S1)

It’s your fairy tales living and breathing the present, without knowing they were from the books. Set in fictional Storybrooke, where these characters were stuck after evil queen/mayor cursed Snow White.  Then comes along Snow White’s daughter, the savior, with her son she gave away for adoption, to bring hope to the whole town.

It’s a pretty interesting series, especially seeing the twists on the back stories of some well-loved characters.

The Good: Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White, Little Red Riding hood’s story, Rumpletstiltskin

The Bad: Too dragging for 22 episodes

4. Grimm

No. of Episodes: 22 (S1)

It’s a police drama with the usual suspects turn out to be creatures called Wesens, character’s from Grimm Fairytales. Lead guy Nick is a Grimm, hunter of Wesens. The series is really captivating on the get go, with a quick but not steep development on the first episode. It’s action, fantasy, supernatural and suspense in a not so generic way.

The DVD I got only has the first 14 episodes, with the remaining 8 episodes I try catching on Chase.

The Good: Monroe, the ‘creatures’ of Grimm, Portland, Oregon

The Bad: Somewhere mid-series, the plot got lost among cases.

5. Mike and Molly

No. of Episodes: 24 (S1), 47 (total)

Mike and Molly is a sitcom about two overweight lovers dealing with life with sarcasm, self-deprecating humor, wit and food. Well, if those don’t hit home for me, then I don’t know what would. The wit and the abrasiveness of both Mike and Molly really takes this show a notch nearer my probably fat covered heart.

The Good: More than Mike and Molly, supporting characters loud-mouth Carl, sarcastic Samuel and dimwitted, pothead Victoria add so much more to the dynamics.

The Bad: Mike Biggs’ thick accent, and, let’s admit it, the downsides of being heavy

6. Game of Thrones

No. of Episodes: 20 (S1-2)

Well, Game of Thrones is Game of Thrones. Medieval and fantasy and geeky… with knights and kings and wars and castles and incest and dragons and blood and nudity. Can’t get any better.

We’ll, my fascination came around during the second season. With the first being too distracting for my taste.

The Good:  Medieval and fantasy and geeky… with knights and kings and wars and castles and incest and dragons and nudity.

The Bad: The books the series was based from are slowly attracting me, and I still have yet to buy.

Well, there are real good things to get from illegal stuff, but on the flip side are really unsatisfying things (Like how the DVD copy of the series Touch has only 5 out of the 12 episodes). I just hope my pirate friends here can sail higher seas and have copies of Awake, Suits and Persons Unknown to trade with me soon.




Making Posts That Matter

I am way too behind my blogging schedule. I am two issues late of my monthly FHM review, and it bothers me. It bothers me because it is my FHM posts that reaps the most number of views from people who loves scouring the net for photos of the half-naked girls. What bothers me most is the fact that posts that I have made with much gusto gets almost no attention. Whatever. I’m still getting views during my down-time. And this doesn’t bother me.

I have always wanted to believe that I am getting better in writing as months go by. And I really want to believe that I have done a good job over the 14 months of blogging. But blogging has become a hit or miss for me. I mean, composing my thoughts is tasking. I sit in front of my computer and start writing, then deleting, then re-thinking stuff, then writing and deleting. I know for a fact that I have something good to say, it’s just that getting there and putting it to words is not the easiest thing for me.

Before the previous year ended, I planned to broaden the things I write about, maybe venture into different writing forms, even. But blogging has become very hard a thing for me to do. Maybe it has something to do with me not having a lot of free time as much as I did in  2011. Or maybe the internet has become too mainstream for me.

I am having concerns now about my complete lack of focus on things. I have first given up interest in texting. 4 years ago, I was sooo into texting. Then my interest dwindled over the years. Whatever personal, social  and emotional undertones it may suggest, I don’t know. I just lost the interest and the drive to send that message back. I occasionally have SMS exchange with friends but I tell you, it comes but a few tines a quarter. And I intend to not sound so needy whenever I am able to send messages.

Next thing I know I was giving up my interest on local TV shows. It’s no surprise, really, since there are no good TV shows here. I tell you. Bad acting, bad story, bad hyping. Even variety shows which are intended to entertain have become lackluster and downright boring. And there’s no other form of comedy than slapstick. Call me whatever but I derive entertainment from US TV series. I either do it marathon style via peg-legged copies of TV series (of The Big Bang Theory, mainly. I’m a few episodes short to finishing the 4th season, at the moment), season after season or catch up on ETC. I enjoy New Girl and Two Broke Girls. I’m so into those shows  that sometimes I dream of being Zooey Deschanel’s roommate and wake up to her sunshiny doe-eyed humor. Or pull off a Kat Dennings and just be rude, sarcastic and perverted all at the same time. In real life. (I’m currently stopping my operation as a blogger for an hour to watch New Girl and 2BG back-t0-back. Will be back soon). I have become so into sitcoms that I have totally lost the patience to watch a movie. The last few ones I saw were impressive DVD copies of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (some scenes kept me awake, and it was good) and Up (call me whatever again but I am no stone). I tried getting into  some more but it always boil down to the fact that my brain can’t stand media productions that are longer than an hour, is not a cartoon or has no sex scenes. (I watch American Idol, by the way. Well, it may be longer than an hour but it has cartoon humor and songs and/or performers get raped at times. It counts.)

And the saddest part of all of these short attention span dilemma I am going through is my deteriorating interest on the internet. Yes, mainly Facebook and Twitter. It just turned boring for me and some people there just behave so annoyingly that I am starting to hate mankind. The things that keep me wired and online are 9gag, peg-leg downloading and my not so impressive WP stats. Yes, I’m avoiding awkward, fake and unnecessary human interaction online. The only one I really wanna get involved with is the interaction with tetris battle. Isn’t it sad that I am a socially awkward individual behaving socially awkward online?

Where were we? Oh, as much as it burns me so bad, I think I will not be doing the FHM thing on a regular basis. It sucks balls because it may jeopardize the currently not so impressive traffic I’m getting here, but suck it. I blame my short attention span.


I know what to blame.

My complete indifference on giving a single fuck.

Of course I’m kidding. I have all the fuck to give.

Welcome myself. I’m blogging again.

Here’s a troll dancing for everyone.