This Year, I Reflect

It’s that time of the year again. Holy Week, you know, the time when everything seems to be quiet all of a sudden (for me, at least). And we all know what’s the best thing to do during this unbelievably tranquil moment, WATCH MOVIES!!!!!! yes, reflect.

"A toast to my impeccable choice of imagery."

It took me about a couple of minutes worth of staring into the horizon, then it hit me… I have started to care less. Much less than how I used to before.

It’s not a matter of being too stuck up, neither of being too full of myself. It’s a matter of knowing the things that are worthy of my thoughts. Yes, I still value everything that I was valuing before. I just try to balance things out and place things in their proper levels of worth.

For some, I might come off as insensitive or too ignorant, but I know that this is just a phase. Who knows? I mean in a few moments or so, I’ll bring my walls down, be vulnerable and be sensitive.

For me, this is all about toughening up… About knowing where things went wrong and what places to avoid. Or is this a case of premature mid-life crisis? I don’t know, I’m too fly to know.

For all I know, I may be losing the things I used to have – the relationships, even.  It’s a scary thing. But it’s a matter of detaching, of letting go, of accepting that life isn’t always as beautiful as we dreamed of it to be, of knowing that nothing is easy to hold on to in such a fast-paced a world we exist in.

I CARE. Not as much as I did before. Not in a way that will meet others expectations and needs. But I still care, nonetheless. It just needs time to grow. Time to strengthen up. Time to be much wiser in every move it’ll make, and every path it’ll choose to take.

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