Misunderstandings, Train Wrecks

You log in to your online accounts. You check out how things changed since your last visit (which, more often than not, happened just a couple of hours back.) You check your notifications. You check people within your circle. Then, lo and behold, you see a post.  A post that was made of sheer angst and hatred. You were taken aback. You wonder how the heck did that person’s post from hell figure in your timeline. He’s your friend, you actually know that person. Now you need to decide if you would sympathize with your miserable friend or would rather not get your ass on his personal issue. Oh, the misery.

People need to understand people.

It has been everybody’s quintessential dilemma to understand each other, we being social animals. There’s no way that we could avoid interaction between one another and we, being diverse beings, couldn’t avoid misunderstandings.

I categorize misunderstandings into two: the confrontational type and the ‘good lord, I just don’t get you and the things you do’ type.

I have little first-hand knowledge about confrontational misunderstandings, the type wherein you argue with another person for the both of you to meet halfway and pretend that you now understand each other. I hate that. I can feel my blood pressure shooting skyward whenever I have to make someone else understand my point. It’s stupid. I would rather keep mum and just stare at the other party until they vanish. I hate confrontations.

The other type, I guess, is the cooler type. It’s (sometimes) downright mean and illogical. It’s more fun. Like when someone ‘likes’ their own posts on Facebook. Nobody knows why he needs to ‘like’ a thing he made up. Nobody can explain the joy of seeing a post with a single ‘like’ and that sign of approval came from the very person who posted it. Ah, bliss.

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Over the years, I have realized how the word ‘understanding’ played a vital role in my being. As a kid, I was taught how to understand when I do not get what I want. I was told not to whimper whenever my good deeds were not given rewards. I should understand that life doesn’t work that way. I never had the latest toys because I made  to the top of my class. I understood.

I am very thankful that I didn’t have to learn certain values the hard way. It was very helpful especially when I evaluate certain events during the time when I was down.

The consequence, though, shows whenever I have problems. I never faced them head-on. I am always willing to compromise. It never really solve anything. All I have now are problems and unopened hatreds kept in the corners of my deteriorating soul.

Deep inside me, I wish someday I get to experience what it feels t be on the receiving end of the understanding. I wish I could be fucked up but still manage to be understood. I know, illogical as it may sound, I just want to be on that side. Maybe by then I would feel relieved knowing that being logical exists in a parallel universe.

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Oftentimes, I enjoy seeing train wrecks provided by willing friends. You know, seeing others embarrass themselves. You could’ve prevented them, but opt not to just for the heck of it. But seeing people near and dear to your heart is a whole lot different. I would’ve prevented it had I known what words to say to ease their burdens.

Although something tells me that they deserve it, my conscience tells me that I should do something. May it be done half-heartedly, I just need to stand up and make things work.

I know I am no ray of fucking sunshine. I may be sarcastic most of the time, but hey, that doesn’t mean I’m always the dark cloud hovering above people’s head.

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You are welcome, people. You must have enjoyed my wreckage of an entry. From Facebook friends from angst hell to my preference of misunderstandings to my sad and bleak inner self. Well, just enjoy the ride bitches.