Cracks in my Reflection

Holy Week. Time to reflect. And since I’m not really into doing things just because they are traditionally done in this certain time (hippie me), I will just post random realizations I made in the past. It’s good to live by with some of your realizations just to keep you grounded, or just to remind us ‘Hey, you’ve been there. You know how it feels.’

(Most of the realizations I made happened last year, a year when I went through a lot since it is during that time when I talked to my self a lot.)

#1 Respect is something you gain. You cannot ask people to respect you just because you want them to.

There are certain factors which dictates how much respect you ‘deserve’ to get – age, background, status et cetera. But I realized that I can’t respect others just because these factors tell me to do so. I’m not saying that I would be disrespectful to people I don’t feel like respecting, it’s just that i cannot give them the respect they think they deserve.

I have realized that it is easier to give the respect a person deserves rather than giving them the respect they think they deserve.

#2 Your life, your choice.

I mean everything that happens in our lives is our personal choice. We choose to be happy. We choose to be sad. We choose to get hurt. We choose to hurt somebody. Outside forces play a factor in our decision-making, but it is always our choice that matters. We can also choose to let others decide for us. It’s our choice.

Say you are going through rough times, it doesn’t necessarily follow that we feel sad or down, we can choose to feel otherwise. It’s your choice if you want to feel terribly hurt after a heart break, but you can also choose to move-on and be happy.

When you have come to the realizations that it is your choice that really matters, it would be easier for you to get into the bottom of your problems and solve it. Easier because you don’t have to blame…

#3 Quit blaming.

This realization pinches my heart every time I think deeply about it.

I have been in a situation wherein a lot of people are involved. It is complicated and I took most of the impact it made. It is always easier to point fingers during those times and say “Hey! I’m going through all of this because of you. It’s all your fault.” But no, I decided not to look far and blame everybody else with all the troubles I have been through.

Instead of holding grudges and keeping hatred, I tried to look into them. I tried to see through them. I even tried to situate myself in theirs and tried to understand their disappointments. Yes, everybody has their disappointments and once you realized that they also go through pain and hardships, you would realize that they are also like you.

When you start seeing the disappointments of others, you can compare them with yours and soon you’ll realize that at some point, everybody is luckier than everybody else.

#4 ALWAYS keep a strong relationship with our family.

Our family loves us beyond any love that there is. They are the people who would accept us and all our facets. They are also the same people who made us who we are.

One of the biggest decisions I made is to give up a lot up things just to keep our family. I have to step up and be the bigger man. I have to broaden my mind and strengthen my defenses just to solve problems we have.

I chose to fix something that is permanent and ditch out something that would eventually fade. I did that because I know that at the end of the day, it is my family who would embrace me despite all my disappointments and hang-ups.

#5 It is fine to have regrets.

Maybe you’ve heard a lot of people say that they have no regrets, I am not one of them and I feel no shame.

I believe that it is better to acknowledge your regrets because you will learn something from not experiencing something. And it’s always fun to leave some things unexplained and unknown.

Live with your regrets, not in them.

#6 Not everybody matters.

We cannot choose the people who would come and go in our lives. It is not like accepting and ignoring friends on Facebook. But what we have control with is the people who would make an impact, people whose words would affect us.

I’ve learned that not everyone we know has something good to say to and abut us. I decided to filter out those who matter to me and those who didn’t. It’s like having an automated filtering device inside my head which functions whenever I hear a thing being said about me. Whenever someone insignificant says something bad about me, I’ll just let them be because they don’t really matter to me. It’s also for saving myself from too much negative stuff.

I also try not to explain things to everybody because some people don’t need explanations, they just WANT them.

#7 Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

But it’s fun at times.


They say that once you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but ‘up’. Then I realized that there are more important things than going up and staying on top.

It’s sad to think that I have to learn things the hard way, still I learned something. I was given a chance to see things in a bigger picture. My failures have opened my eyes to see the other side of things.

I know that there are some things I failed to write, but I guess some realizations are better left undocumented because there are some things in life that cannot be put to words.

And to make up with the lack of inspiration on my post, I’ll just add some of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, Tuesday with Morrie by Mitch Albom, which accompanied me throughout my journey to seeing things in a greater perspective.

“What if today were my last day on earth? … the culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks – we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? … You need someone to probe you in that direction. It just won’t happen automatically.”

“… detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience *penetrate* you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you *fully*. That’s how you are able to leave it.

Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one…. if you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. … I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”

“Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, ‘All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

Partial and Predictions (FHM 100 Sexiest 2011)

So here’s the first of the many updates FHM would be giving with regards to their 100 Sexiest poll. (You have to subscribe to the FHM Bullpen to have the updates delivered to your e-mail.)

As the partial results show,  this year’s front runners are the very same girls we have seen lead the list for several years now. Voting ends on the 15th of June, so anything could happen. I’m glad that 5 girls whom I’ve been voting for (via everyday made it to the top 10.

Will Angel rule the list again?

Will Cristine or Marian reclaim the crown?

Will someone ‘new’ claim the top spot this year?

It’s too early to tell, right?  Who knows?

While we’re at it, allow me to give some predictions for this year’s 100 sexiest list. I’ll add more predictions as FHM updates us with more partial results.


PREDICTION #1: Jennylyn Mercado will still be the sexiest mom…

that is if nobody else keeps a child from the public. I mean, she will still hold the highest rank among the moms on the list. She is on the 12th spot last year and the mom nearest her rank is Valerie Concepcion at number 26. Based on the partial tally above, Ms. Mercado shows no sign of being dethroned as the sexiest mom.

PREDICTION #2: A lot of ‘new entries’ will hold a spot on the upper half of the list.

See, new timers Solenn and Ellen made it to the top 10 during the first serving of the partial results. And they’re fans show no sign of letting their idols down. Let’s not forget Bianca Manalo, Jef Gaitan, Carla Humphries and Misa Campo who made their own impact to the FHM Nation with their cover appearances.

PREDICTION #3: Some ‘regulars’ might drop from the Top 10.

I’m thinking about Iwa, Ehra and Katrina (not the three of them all at the same time). They have been on the top 10 of this list for quite some time now and it wouldn’t hurt that much if they fail to earn a spot on the higher part of the list. Add to that the fact that they are not among the top guns of their network as they used to be, hence the lack of exposure. Plus the newer FHM babes have stronger chances this year.


You can still vote for your favorites. Just go to, register and vote for your top 10 once a day, everyday.


*images courtesy of FHM Philippines and Google Images

#129: Regine Angeles on FHM April 2011

Fresh from whatever hangover the 11th Anniversary issue (with Solenn, nonetheless) FHM gave us last month, here they are delivering us yet another issue filled with good stuff, nothing but good stuff.

Regine Angeles goes wet for FHM this April. For five months straight, FHM is featuring first-time cover girls. But what sets Regine apart from the recent ‘new faces’ is the fact that she has been on the list of the most requested celebrities to grace the cover for some time now. As a proof of FHM Nation’s adoration for Regine, she entered the 100 sexiest list of 2009 ranking at number 64, then a few notches up at number 55 the following year.

Let’s go down to business and dissect the issue. (If only book reports and school researches were as entertaining as this.)


I have to say (as much as it hurts me) that this month’s cover is better than last month’s. But this is not the year’s best so far, either. (I still think Misa Campo’s is the best to date.)

The good thing with the cover is that they chose to have a photo ‘with movement’. The running water did the trick. The downside (I think), is that there was too much light. I don’t know. I’m not a photographer. I just think that more shadows would look good on this one.


Regine Angeles, finally!

This cover appearance has been long overdue. Every one who keeps an eye on FHM-worthy girls on the industry already saw this one coming, but nobody thought it would take FHM this long to have Regine. But now that we have her, we are still willing to take Regine with (our) arms wide open. Welcome to FHM Nation!

Regine’s 17-page feature with 20 photos almost made up for the time she made FHM Nation wait. Almost.

I think Regine fell short on her facial expressions, given that her body is a knockout.  Her poses were a bit lazy, for lack of better words. BUT her stares can make anyone melt. She has this mysterious look in her eyes on the first few layouts. Her photos on pages 56 to 62 are my favorite. The layout has this very calm and mysterious vibe.

I hate it that FHM made Regine wear stuff that are less revealing than what we see her wear on her Bench ads. I know this shoot was done to showcase another side of Regine, but I honestly think that smaller clothes flatter her body better.

I enjoyed reading her interview, though. She answered the questions with class and sass. Intelligent, honest, reserved and witty all at the same time. Just my type of girl. Perfect mix of humor and class.

I remember talking with a fellow FHM-enthusiast friend about FHM photographers. We agreed that Xander Angeles is one of the better photographers FHM teams-up with. This shoot is not his best but this is one is not bad either. Considering that the weather was gloomy on the day of the shoot, he still managed to produce well-lit photographs with a summer sunset vibe. Kudos to that!


Oh, the girls. I think the girls (and their photo shoots) on this issue are better than those featured last month. If they featured the April babes last March and vice versa, the 11th anniversary issue could have been better and this month would be perfect for the Bikini Special.

It still bothers me that they trimmed back the number of the photos of the month’s GF to two. This month, they feature Daniella Jose. Yes, two photos are not enough, but lo and behold, check out Daniella’s online feature with 120 photos of her in various degrees of undress. And wetness. On the beach.

Also featured this month is Kate Necesario. This model capitalizes on her lengthy legs and oozing confidence. Her confidence is so sexy, but she doesn’t dig cocky guys.

Other girls featured this month are GMA 7’s Comedy Bar mainstay, Given, Brazilian babe Yara Marinatto who made wearing sneakers with white bikinis look oh so lovely, starter babe Ronila Rodir and PBB alum Princess Manzon wet in a tub. With floating synthetic flowers, nonetheless.


I think FHM made major mismatches this month and last month. This month’s featured reads would’ve made last month’s issue better. In short, this month’s articles are way better.

Featured this month is today’s hottest sports item on the country, the Philippine Azkals. Their interview was good because they featured the less known members of the team. The interview has no showbiz fuss whatsoever. It’s solely about the team’s rise from obscurity. From being unknown to rousing our country’s knowledge about the sport. Although being overrated is not far from the picture, they talked abut how they are enjoying all the attention they are getting.

A myth-buster article is also featured this month. FHM explained the truth behind the relations of the proportions of our body part. Here, they dismissed all the wrong things being said about the relationship of our shoe sizes to our manhood and the size of our fingers to our tool. Yet another informative write-up, something FHM is surely good at.

Also in this issue is an article about the downside of eating too much ‘pulutan’. They provided figures on the nutritional facts of your favorite bar chows (sisig, crispy pata, calamares, buffalo wings etc.) and healthier alternatives (would you like some steamed fish with your beer, sir?).

The best read this month is FHM’s guide to hosting an A-list house party. This highly-produced ‘research’ gives us pointers on what to do and what not to miss on preparing a house party, from planning to cleaning. (Hangovers necessary)


I enjoyed the article on the ‘Funny Money’ on the Starter section. Manuel Roxas sure looks funny when he ‘makes faces’. The feature on Michael  Cacnio’s ‘Musterpieces’ in his collection called ‘Erotica’ was amusing.

Cacnio's The Tinkerer

Also, FHM hit a notch higher as they change (permanently, I hope)  their art for the True Stories section.

The feature on how to decipher a woman’s Facebook profile on the Lounge section was very informative and fun. Imagine, psychologists studying how your lady behaves on her online profile and how it translates to the real world.


This issue is a good one. It made up for whatever was lacking last month (good articles, mostly).

Hopefully, next month’s issue delivers too. I heard they would feature a first-timer yet again, which is good. I heard that she has been a part of the sexiest list for three consecutive years. I also heard that the theme of the pictorial is ‘summer on the beach’, which is overused. For more info on the the things that I heard, go here. No, don’t put your ear on the link. Click it. 🙂


You can now vote for the Philippines’ Finest for 2011. Go and vote for your favorite.

*images courtesy of

** ‘The Tinkerer’ photo from Google